How about...

... a real post for once? I'll try. (It's not a cheery one, so if that's what you're looking for, go do some Boobah or something.)

I'm in a weird mode nowadays. I have my "Dogville" analysis to write, but I can't get started. I've watched the movie over and over, and read loads of interviews and.. bah.. everything I can find. I have so much to write and it all sounds perfectly fine in my head, but... I get discouraged when I put it to paper.

It's the self esteem issue, of course, as always. I'm so tired of being like this, feeling that whatever I touch turn into shit. It IS bullshit, of course, but I don't seem to get that. It stops me from writing my analysis, and it stops me from getting anywhere with my planned novel. Why do I have this feeling of being so damn incompetent? Getting B's isn't being incompetent, why can't I be satisfied?

I'm not writing this to get sympathy. I need a good slapping, that's what I need. So if you feel like it, I'll hand out my address and you can come slap me. But please don't do it too roughly. I bruise too easily and I don't need to have a big, colourful mark on my cheek again like from the last time I went to the dentist.

Bah...
(There was one good event today though. Had a coffee with a friend today and it was the most amazing coffee I've ever had in this town... Latté with amaretto syrup and purrrfect foam.. whoa! Mmmmm...)