Funnies.

Found some funny jokes, thought I'd share:

This is kinda amusing. It helps to know Norway though.

You know you've been in Norway too long when:
* You only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.
* You start to believe that if it wasn't for Norway's efforts the world would probably collapse pretty soon.
* You can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".
* Always prepare to catch the closing door if following too closely behind somebody.
* When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
he is a drunk
he is insane
he is American
he is all of the above
* You use "Mmmmm" as conversation filler.
* You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
* You know at least five different words for describing different kinds of snow.
* You know the difference between Blue and Red ski wax.
* You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to Vinmonopolet (the state-run alcohol shop).
* It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00.
* You enjoy the taste of lutefisk.
* You think it's acceptable to wrap your hotdog in a cold pancake.
* You wear sandals with socks.
* You find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes.
* You can't understand why foreigners haven't heard about Bjørn Dæhlie.
* You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "koselig".


Woman driver
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license.
He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

Green thingies!

Yay! Plants! Got two of them. A "Money Tree" (no idea if that means anything to you, but that's what they're called here) and another big, leafy thing that likes it shady. They're both so purty!**

Ooh, and, not that it's any big deal to anyone but me; I managed to read four chapters of that %&¤/(¤ litterature analyzis book today. I tried reading it a couple of months ago and didn't get zip (and actually chucked the book wham on the floor), and I've been putting it off ever since. Not anymore. It wasn't that bad. I just need to take time and do notes while reading, as there are tons of new words to learn and.. ugh.. it's dull stuff, really.

I cut my finger slicing up tomatos for tacos yesterday. Ouch... The knife slipped, and made a nice cut into my left index finger. Very handy, 'cause I can't do any dishes until the cut heals, so poor love... hahaha.

**I found some photos of one of the plants on Google (and one of the older plants we have). The new one, the green leafy thingy, called calanthea (Medallion) looks like this:


Except it's not that big and the colours are brighter.

The other one, one of those we already had looks like this:

Piggie fun. Again...

Had to shampoo the piggies again, a follow-up on the whole lice treatment. Just as fun as last time... Poor piggies, I feel like the worst sadist doing this, but there was no way I could afford the 200$ treatment at the vet. And it seems to have worked, I couldn't find any petpets on Monster when I checked. Which is of course, really great. Poor piggies... But now they're done with it and they're munchin' happily on their treats in their cage. All of them real fluffy! *lol*

Not much to tell today, really. Usually isn't on Wednesdays, as I usually sit home and study. If you're interested, I tidied up my comics a little, and made space for the books I got on sale last week, but that doesn't count for any major accomplishment. BUT I found out they're airing the new season (ah, new to us norwegians, which would mean 6 months old) of Gilmore Girls on Sunday. The first episode, that is. Yay! *big wide grin* I love that show. The way they play with words, it's fascinating.

Ooh tomorrow we'll go shop for green thingies. Plants, that is. Now that we have a car, we can go to this Wal-mart-like supermarket, 20 minutes by car from here. And they're having a sale on green plants this week. I love green plants. But they can't demand to much care, and not too much light as there isn't much in here. Not natural light in the living room anyway. Oh well, I'm sure we'll find some. :)

Golden Raspberry Awards

Since everyone is commenting on the Oscar nominations, I thought I'd do a little twist, the Razzies :)


WORST PICTURE
- ALEXANDER (Warner Bros.)
- CATWOMAN (Warner Bros.)
- SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2 (Triumph Films)
- SURVIVING CHRISTMAS (DreamWorks)
- WHITE CHICKS (Columbia/Revolution)

I haven't seen either, but just the trailer for "White chicks" made me want to scratch my eyes out!

WORST ACTOR
- Ben Affleck / JERSEY GIRL and SURVIVING CHRISTMAS
- George W. Bush / FAHRENHEIT 9/11
- Vin Diesel / CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK
- Colin Farrell / ALEXANDER
- Ben Stiller / ALONG CAME POLLY, ANCHORMAN, DODGEBALL,
- ENVY and STARSKY & HUTCH

Oooh. I'm with Dubya here. I wonder, if he won, would he pick up his prize?

WORST ACTRESS
- Halle Berry / CATWOMAN
- Hilary Duff / CINDERELLA STORY and RAISE YOUR VOICE
- Angelina Jolie / ALEXANDER and TAKING LIVES
- Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen / NEW YORK MINUTE
- Shawn & Marlon (The Wayans Sisters) / WHITE CHICKS

Again, that awful-looking "White Chicks" movie... Eeeek!

WORST SCREEN COUPLE
- Ben Affleck & EITHER Jennifer Lopez OR Liv Tyler / JERSEY GIRL
- Halle Berry & EITHER Benjamin Bratt OR Sharon Stone / CATWOMAN
- George W. Bush & EITHER Condoleeza Rice OR His Pet Goat / FAHRENHEIT 9/11
- Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen / NEW YORK MINUTE
- The Wayans Brothers (In or Out of Drag) WHITE CHICKS

Dubya and his pet goat! Goooo! hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
- Carmen Electra / STARKSY & HUTCH
- Jennifer Lopez / JERSEY GIRL
- Condoleeza Rice / FAHRENHEIT 9/11
- Britney Spears / FAHRENHEIT 9/11
- Sharon Stone / CATWOMAN

Britney smacking her gum... Yah, real talent there. Not to mention, could Michael Moore have possibly made her look worse? Very funny :D

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
- Val Kilmer / ALEXANDER
- Ah-Nuld Schwarzenegger / AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAZE
- Donald Rumsfeld / FAHRENHEIT 9/11
- Jon Voight / SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2
- Lambert Wilson / CATWOMAN

WORST DIRECTOR
- Bob Clark / SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2
- Renny Harlin and/or Paul Schrader / EXORCIST 4: THE BEGINNING
- “Pitof” / CATWOMAN
- Oliver Stone / ALEXANDER
- Keenan Ivory Wayans / WHITE CHICKS

WORST REMAKE OR SEQUEL
- ALIEN v PREDATOR (20th Century-Fox)
- ANACONDAS: HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID (Screen Gems)
- AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAZE (Disney)
- EXORCIST 4: THE BEGINNING (Warner Bros.)
- SCOOBY DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED (Warner Bros.)

WORST SCREENPLAY
- ALEXANDER, Written by Oliver Stone, Christopher Kyle and Laeta Kalogridis
- CATWOMAN, Written by Theresa Rebeck and John Brancato & Michael Ferris and John Rogers
- SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2, Written by Steven Paul and Gregory Poppen
- SURVIVING CHRISTMAS, Written by Deborah Kaplan & Harry Elfont and Jeffrey Ventimilia & Joshua Sternin
- WHITE CHICKS, Written by Keenan & Shawn & Marlon Wayans and Andy McElfresh, Michael Anthony Snowden and Xavier Cook

Zzz...

Blah... I'm sick. Or, I was sick yesterday (stomach thingy) and still pressured myself into going with my love and his friends to the Monday Quiz. Although it was fun, and it was nice going out, I should have stayed home in my bed. Not that I think that would have helped, as I was totally unable to sleep last night and therefore could not possibly manage to get to school today. And I still feel... not well. Which is annoying, 'cause I have soo much to do, with three assignments (one of them counting for the whole grade in that module) and two books. *sigh*
Oh well... that's my dilemma today. I think I'll go have a short nap and see if it gets any better after that.


** Monday Quiz explanation (sorry, I wasn't very... awake when I posted this): One of the café/bars here has a quiz thingy on mondays. You go there, take a "team" with you (the tactical thing would be to bring smart friends with different areas of "expertise") of friends and try to answer the questions as best as you can. And each time there's a special theme with extra questions about that theme (yesterday it was beer). At the end of the night, the team with the most points win prizes.
It's fun :D

Car!

We have a car! Mum bought a new car two months ago, and has now given us the old one (which she wouldn't get much money for if she sold it).
It's a Ford Fiesta, 86 model with several charming little defects like:
a. non-functioning fan in the coupé so that when it's cold out you have to wipe the windows with a cloth while driving (although it gets better after 15 min of driving and if you keep the windows pulled down).
b. lovely rust
c. trouble starting when its cold.

BUT it's our first car and the engine works just fine, and has never had any problems as long as mum has had it. And did I mention it runs just fine? OK, so long up-hills makes it tired, but hey, it's not a youngster anymore! And it's cute. Small and red. And I found some nice cow-print dices (small ones) that now hangs from the mirror.

I only now have to learn how to fix rust. That won't be a problem. I actually look forward to fixing it (or, stopping it from spreading that is). I've bonded with this car, and I think it will like it here where I live, as it's a milder climate than where mum lives. The car (mum always called it Pea, and I like that name... love doesn't though, 'cause it's red and peas aren't red) is like me, it doesn't like winter and cold weather! I mean, we're practically soul sisters! :P

Only problem is... I don't have a drivers licence. I've never had the cash for it, or, when I had cash, I had no car to practice driving in, and now, to make matters even worse, the cost of getting a licence here has sky-rocketed because of new rules that demand even more mandatory lessons. So, getting a liscence here now would be somewhere closer to 5000$ Oh my... I just realized that right now, writing it. That's a fuckin' great deal of money! Are they completely MAD? I'll NEVER have my licence when that's the amount of money you have to pay...yikes...
But I will start practicing. That I can do, as long as my love is sitting next to me. And, if I practice real hard, maybe I can get my licence in Germany or something... I need to check that out.

Weekend

Just a quick note to say that I will be gone on "family" business this weekend. Visiting parents and whatnot... *deep breath*
So... Behave! :P

Witches Weekly

Politics

Donated by: Miss M

Do you fear repercussions of the re-election of George W. Bush on your rights to practice your religion freely?
No, not for myself living in Norway. But for my American fellow Pagans I must admit I worry. But I do also fear in general the right wing born again Christians and their intolerance. They can do serious harm if no one stops them.

What steps do you think are important to take in securing religious freedoms for Pagans, Witches and related?
Making sure your voice is heard. That everyone does something, screams loud enough. As long as there are enough protesters, they can't do anything too harmful.

Do you feel Pagan and Witch groups should better organize into "churches" to provide a more "legitimate" face to general public? Why or Why Not?
I don't know. Some pagans, like myself, don't feel like being very outspoken about their beliefs and do not need a "church", but then again, a "church" would be a good representative to the general public. Still, I'm not sure. But then I am thinking of the word "church" as in Christian church and everyone following and accepting the "guidelines" at times very blindly. Maybe a society with a leader that emphasises on fellowship instead of specific details.

Aurora Borealis

Not just a pretty name... A pretty sight also! :) I was just outside, watching some northern lights. They weren't all that clear, and only a little, but still fun to watch. Going out again shortly, as it's supposed to be at its best around midnight.

Saw one of my childhood favorite films again today, for the first time since... I was a kid, I guess. "Raise the Titanic" I didn't get zip when I was younger, but it still fascinated me so, and I watched it over and over again. I guess that won't be happening anytime soon again *lol* Silly movie... Or, not silly, it's a product of its time of course, but... nah. It'll never be what it was when I was a kid.

And... shampooed the piggies today. Found a shampoo that was all natural and supposed to get rid of the "petpets", so I'm hoping it does. Not sure though. But it didn't make me feel any better, soaping up the poor piggies and then rinsing off afterwards. The two adults was really not a problem, as they were scared stiff and were easy to handle. But the babies, they're nuts, they don't fear anything. So they went completely bananas and spun all over the place. Try catching a wriggly, soapy little furball, huh? Ahh... I only pray the shampoo really works.

Of lice and men...

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I had an instant coffe around 8-ish, and that would be a problem with any other coffee, brewed or instant except this one. Usually... Toss in the whole lice-thing, and you get me lying awake all night in that "my head is soooo sleepy, but my body is wide awake"-caffein state, and scratching. You know how your mind simply won't let go of a thought when it first creeps in, in that state where you're not sleeping, but you're not fully awake either? There you have my night. Very... pleasant... indeed. *sigh*

BUT the lice thing isn't the end of the world. Called the vet today and was told that I could either bring them all in for shots twice (which would cost me in total 200$) or I could try using lice shampoo. Which I will. Weeeee! Gonna get to give all my four piggies baths. Twice! AND disinfect their cage. Yay! *sarcasm* How do you disinfect a piggie cage anyway? I don't think you can use chlorine? I'll need to sniff around online to see if I can find anything on that.

OK, enough of icky bugs. I'm starting to itch again here, now that I had finally stopped. (Oh, and it does not transfere to humans or other species of animals. Thank goodness!)

Lectures at school today. Found out that I was supposed to have read one novel for today's lecture and one for tomorrow. That message had been available online for about a week, but last time I tried the info page, it was down *grr*
So... Today's novel I could do nothing about, but the one for tomorrow? I picked up a copy and started reading as soon as I got home (which was early today, since we only had half a day). OK. 300 pages. And "new norwegian" Don't ask. No, it's not slang, but a constructed language mixed up of words from all the crazy dialects we have here. Different words for the same things and just... somewhat different grammar. Now, this "new norwegian" is very "free", and you can choose from different versions of words, ranging from normal norwegian to completely radically different versions. Meaning the less radical would be easier for me to read than the radical.
This particular book was of the radical sort. Yay! So 300 pages of this is kinda like 450 pages of ordinary norwegian to me. But I am a fairly quick reader, so I got through it. Although I haven't really had any spare time after lections besides dinner time. And I have a splitting head ache, so I'll be getting in bed very shortly. Just as soon as all these buzzing bees get out of my head.

Yeah... like that was very interesting. Hah! I'll bet my next entry will be better. Prolly about the joys of bathing four guinea pigs. :P

God night!

F...*...c...k

Ahhhhh! My piggies have some form of lice! I just noticed now, cuddling Monster. Which means I have to take all of them to the vet tomorrow. And just... Ewwwww! I itch all over, thinking about it!

Photos!

I've been working hard today, resizing photos and making pages for them. If you take a look at the bottom of this page (depending on your screen resolution you can either see it directly or you have to scroll) you'll find a link that says "photos".
(or click here )
There you can find adorable (and actually high resolution this time) photos of my piggies and photos of our tree. Poor tree... I still feel bad about that...


This is just a small image, you can find a larger one in the photo section.



How 'bout a little snow? (again, this is just a thumb)



My wuuvely Monster!

OK folks, there's more where that came from. You know what to do. If you want to, that is.

Disney World *sniffles*

I would love to someday manage to visit Disney World. But plane, hotel and entrance tickets adds up to an enormous amount of money, so it's basically useless even to think about it.

Except that one evil travel agency has a package with all of the above (seven days at a hotel, four whole days at Disney and transportation). At a, for ordinary people, not so evil price. Aww poop... OK, so it's useless to think of that also, but I can't help it! I wanna hug Mickey Mouse! And I wanna hold my love back from molesting Goofy! (OK, explanation... He was in an amusement park that has these green and pink rabbits walking around everywhere, and he, a full grown man, could not resist hugging one. He apparently shocked the poor bunny, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there to witness it, I'm sure it was hilarious!)

Ooh, two entries in one day. I surprise myself!
Now, though, I will go and make me some tea. Or... start doing the dishes. Because tea without my favourite cups isn't as yummy as tea from a plain cup. I'm weird, I know!

Singstar Party!

Weeeeeeeeeeeee! Had so much fun yesterday!
We were invited over to some friends (Silvia and Henning) for dinner, and were asked to bring our playstation with Singstar games along also (hmmm... I suspect our sudden popularity among our friends can be traced back to this toy *lol*).
They, on the other hand, had invited even more friends, and the result was a Singstar battle of epic proportions! Girls (three of us) agains guys (four of them). And we kicked their sorry behinds in every battle *evil laughter*
Although it must be said that both my love and Henning did decent performances yesterday. We (the girls) usually mock them due to their inability to hit ANY right notes, but we were amazed at their singing. Which doesn't mean they were outstanding *LOL*
But the most fun part was that everyone put their heart and soul into it, and I know for a fact that I'm not the only one with a sore throat today.

Still, I cannot comprehend how my love and his team buddy could screw up so utterly on the "I got you, babe" duet. Geez!
Oooh but very fun!

Ahhh Mr. Darcy!

I never thought I would be a Jane Austen-loving kind of person. Turns out I am. Out of curiosity I lent "Pride and prejudice" from the library and... ahhh... absolutely loved it! And today I finished watching the BBC series based on the book, with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. Shsss, don't tell anyone, I think I was supposed to be studying instead... *lol* Anyway, just wanted to share my discovery. Now I know what Bridget Jones talks about (in Helen Fieldings books, which BTW, have plenty of "Mr. Darcy", although in a newer edition).
Oooh and I love their dresses. Why don't we get to wear pretty dresses like that anymore? It's unfair!

Bye bye, pretty tree.

So, the tree got chucked out. And all the yule decorations stuffed in a large box and put in our storage closet. Aww... Feel so bad.

Another thing, I'm trying to reason with an 11 year old sister to why she shouldn't write nasty stuff about her classmates on her webpage. That's not an easy task. Ugh...

But oooh! Found a pillow on sale today! My old one is... seriously bad for my neck, it's been killing me for a while now. So hopefully this one will be better.

I just loooove dentists.

No, I don't love them. But I don't hate them either. It's just that... it's extremely unpleasant to sit there in that chair, being poked around in your mouth. Or, when you actually have to do something, like cavities... But the most unpleasant part of it is the bill afterwards. Especially when your economy doesn't really allow any major unexpected expenses.

Why this rant about dentists? Guess. I went there today. The tooth the dentist fixed the last time I went (in November) wasn't the one that was aching, so he removed an old filling from the aching one today, and put in a temporary filling to see if the aching was caused by a small cavity underneath the old filling. And I need to go back in three weeks to put in a permanent filling. AND then I have yet another visit left to do another cavity on the other side of my mouth. Yay... And I have sooo much money to spare already. *sigh* I was hoping to start repaying my grandma the money I lent for the first dentist appointment now, but that'll have to wait. Arrrgh...

Guinea pig fun...?

Today I did something really interesting. Gave Lilo her first bath. Ever. I don't think she enjoyed it much, but she had to have one. Aww poor piggie. It looked real hilarious when she was all soaked, suddenly there was only half of her left. She's a fluffy pig, and with wet fur she looked... weird. Now she's hair dryer dried and enjoying an absolutely private snack, a nummy carrot here on my desk, so that the other munchkins don't take it from her. Awww...

Oh! This is my first 2005 entry! I guess a Happy New Year is in order :D